Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man.

I hear of many D/s dynamics breaking down because the Dom doesn’t recognize the times when its more important to just be a man to their woman, instead of always being in the Dominant state. Of course this depends on the sub, but I still feel that being a man and showing your woman the emotions you feel for her are of uppermost importance.

Does this make you less of a Dom to allow yourself to kneel beside your sub when she needs you to be on the floor with her? Of course it doesn’t! It shows your strength and love. It comforts your sub to know that you are feeling what she is feeling. It gives her peace of mind to feel your strong masculine body wrapped in hers and reassuring her that you will not leave her side. To put aside the titles of Sir or Master, to just be yourself with your beloved woman. Titles can become so cold and overused that sometimes it’s more intimate and loving to just enjoy those little cute names you use for each other… It encourages affection and in turn deepens the bond of the dynamic.

I envision myself carrying my woman through her hard days on a beach, Two sets of footprints become one, not because I have left her side, but because I am carrying her and her bourdons. Never letting her fall. Yes this sounds very much like a Dom trait, but with the protocol and titles stripped bare. You are simply being the best man you can be for the woman you love.

Recognize those times in her voice that she just needs YOU. Not your Dominance. Allow yourself to weep with her. Feel her pain! She needs to know that you are there for her and she isn't going through it alone.

Of course it is not always easy to tell if she needs the Dom or the man, and can only develop over time with lots of talking and the development of trust. A good Dom will trust in his instincts and see the subtle changes in her voice or body language.

Know the difference between the Dom and the man in you. Seek it out and never be afraid to let her see it. Being the Dom 24/7 and giving out tasks, dealing with corrective behaviour, talking to her like a teacher etc, can very quickly become overwhelming if you never just allow yourself to BE HER MAN.